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This "Introduction" was originally an email which I recently wrote to someone who wanted to know something about me but since others have written to ask to know something about me, I decided to make that e-mail letter into this page.
I am a born-again Spirit-filled, fully dunked (baptized :-) non-denominational Christian. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior approximately 15 years ago, though the Lord first called me when I was only ten years old. I realize that I am taking somewhat of a risk sharing this personal information with you, but I do so anyway hoping that whatever place you are "in the Lord" you will look to Him for what I'm saying (even for what He is saying) beyond this limited means of communicating that we call the Internet &/or email...
The only online handle I use is: "Noteye" and there is a story behind it:
After I accepted the Lord, I began attending a small church in our neighborhood -in San Fernando, California. (Los Angeles is where I was born and raised.) The assistant pastor was preaching that particular night and he was instructing any new converts to "seek the Lord to find out what your ministry is". That sounded like good advice to me and so I began praying fervently for the Lord to tell me what "my ministry was supposed to be" -but to my surprise, when I did that, the Lord rebuked me: the Lord said to me that night, "there is enough "I, me and my" in ministry(s) -why don't you pray, and I will do."
I was instructed to go to the church every day to pray. When I asked the Lord if I should just pray at home instead, the Lord said, my house shall be called ____ (what) ? I said, I don't know Lord. The Lord said, "mine house shall be called an house of prayer..."
So I started going to the church every day to pray as the Lord directed. The church was only a mile away from my home and since I had nursing personnel in my home nearly 24 hrs a day every day (taking care of my handicapped daughter) -it t turned out to be good for me to get away from the house every day to pray. And since I no longer was able to work (I am disabled) I had all the time in the world to pray, so I began going to the church every day to pray.
Now you would think that a disabled woman with a handicapped child would have plenty to pray about (and it seemed to me that I did have plenty to pray about) but I soon found that the Lord had not just sent me to the church to pray but that (except when asking for specific instructions -which you will understand more about when you read this) He wanted me to pray for the needs of others, others -except "me & my house".
Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the Lord would not allow me to lift up the needs of my family if I felt led to do so, but as ridiculous as this may sound, I really did not feel any need to do so: I was simply given the assurance that as long as I prayed for what the Lord wanted me to pray about, then our needs would be met. And that assurance was given to me when I asked the Lord to show me how it was (that with all the health & financial problems etc. that we had in our home etc.) that there was no need for me to pray for myself or my family.
In the beginning it seemed to me that it was certainly "scriptural" for me to pray for myself and especially for my family. The Lord agreed (by His Spirit) that it was scriptural to do that, but what He me to know was that I had His promise that if I would "pray for His people, for the churches" -our own needs would be met.
The Lord gave me the understanding & assurance of His promise that if I would continue to pray for "other people's needs" then He would meet the needs for myself and for my family. And then the Lord showed me a portion of scripture: how the "captivity of Job" was turned "when he prayed for his friends".
Not long after I began going to the church to pray, the Lord began teaching me: He began showing me things that were on His Heart concerning His people, concerning the churches. More of that part of the story: of my disability and that of my children is posted in a subdocument linked here for you to read.
If you would like to read more about what the Lord was teaching me, the teachings are posted in the articles on my web site. To read about what happened at the church after I began going to the church each day to pray, you will now need to go to the separate article entitled "Go, and Go Now" (personal & prophetic) -in case you cannot access it by direct link, you can access that article through this url: http://noteye.tripod.com/feedmylambs.html
Meanwhile, several years later I asked the Lord what He wanted to call the "ministry that I saw Him working"... I remembered what the Lord had told me in the beginning about not having one of those "I, me, my" ministries. And I recalled how the Lord had also called my attention in the past several years to the fact that so many people in ministry have their own name on their ministry, --many of which, the Lord had told me are in fact, "their ministries" -not His! (That is not my opinion of anyone's ministry, it is what the Lord said about many ministries!) With that in mind, I asked the Lord: "if this was His ministry that He was doing, then since it is His Sovereign right to name a thing, I asked Him what did He want to call it?"
At that point the Lord told me to take the words "not, I, me, my" and write them altogether in one word.. So I took out a piece of scratch paper and wrote it out as one word "notimemy" ministry. After I did that, then the Lord told me to remove the word "my" from the end of the word (just as -through His teaching by His Spirit, He Himself had been establishing His ministry, instead of "I me or my" ministry.)
I took the little piece of scratch paper on which I had written "notimemy" and when I took off the "my" and then read the remainder of the word, instead of seeing "not I me" when I removed the "my" I saw the words: "NO TIME" jump off the paper before my eyes instead!
My first thought was "Oh, Lord!" NO TIME MINISTRY! O, Lord I thought, I hope that is not prophetic, Lord" I hoped that would not be a prophetic epitaph: that there was yet time for His people, for the churches to hear what the Spirit was saying to the churches (to hear and to see what the Lord is "testifying against us" for good and not for evil, to hear without offense what the Lord is saying about what the enemy has done to the churches, in the churches to destroy her from within!
In the beginning, back in 1986, before I had any real understanding about what the Lord was doing and saying in all this, the Lord gave me what you could say was an "overview" (which was later written in the form of an outline.)
When I later asked the Lord what He wanted me to call what I thought was a "written outline" He said, "call it Ground to Powder". Why "ground to powder"? Because of our stubborn refusal to hear -since our stubbornness is as idolatry, the Lord was saying that if His people would not hear: He will grind our idolatry (stubbornness of mind) to powder.
And when I asked Him then if He had a scripture to go with that name/title, "Ground to Powder" (the name of the outlive/overview) the Lord said, "Anyone who falls upon the stone will be broken, but upon whom the stone falls, it will grind him to powder..."
If you'd like to find out what the Lord meant by that title -though it does not appear on my web page as the title of any one article, many of the articles on my page are from that "spiritual overview" of what the Lord is saying to the churches about what the enemy has been doing in the churches to destroy us unawares. (My people are destroyed for lack of a vision" and "His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" -to me this means, not just due to ignorance, but for rejection of prophetic insight. As it is written: the leaders of this people err, and they that are led of them are led to their own destruction.)
If you would like to read some of the material included in that original "outline", I have some -but not all of it posted various pages on my web site on the Internet. Please visit my web site and "prayerfully read" as the Lord leads!
In 1986 (which was the right after I accepted the Lord) the Lord had told me that at some point in time, He would take my husband and my daughter home. In 1992 my daughter was diagnosed as terminal (though she is still with us and is doing well.) I was in my prayer closet -a literal place in my home which my husband had made for me to pray, late one night (it was about 1:00 A.M. in the month of Oct. 1992) when the Lord instructed me that I was to tell several (He named approx 5 people) of the nurses who took care of my daughter: that the Lord said He was now going to "take my husband home" (my husband was as healthy as a horse at the time).
Though it is not exactly the kind of thing one would like to prophesy concerning one's own spouse, I did as the Lord directed. The very same night that I began telling the first of the people the Lord had named which happened to be one of the nurses who was working in our home that same night.
While I was in the process of telling her what the Lord had said, I received a telephone call from a missionary friend of ours who told me that the Lord had directed me to call me right then. After apologizing for calling at such an hour, he told me that the Lord had directed him to call me and tell me of a vision the Lord had given him concerning me & my family (Keep in mind that I had told this man nothing about what the Lord had just said to me...) and he proceeded to tell me that the Lord had shown him a vision "of the Lord smiting my family" and he said that the Lord had told him that "people would not understand that it was the Lord"
It was only then, after he told me what the Lord had shown him that I thanked him for his obedience and then shared with him what the Lord had just told me about taking my husband home now.
Since this man was a friend of the family and knew our family well, he found even the thought of that abhorrent to him. He did not want this to be so and so he said to me, "No, let's pray and agree that the Lord will not do this" and I said, "No, we will pray that it will be His will and not ours, and for the grace to trust Hin."
My husband began having symptoms the following week. Within approximately one months time, he was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor on the brain stem. Three times in one day when my husband was in the hospital's intensive care unit, I was given the option by the Lord: if you pray and ask me to heal him, I will give you your own will. And three times I prayed the only thing the Lord had told me to pray: "The Lord said, Pray that it will be My will and not your own, and for the grace to trust Me".
By-the-way, it is important to know how my husband felt about all of this! It is not as if I was making decisions for him! Without my knowing it beforehand and without me having told my husband about any of this -beforehand, I later found out from my husband (who was also saved and Spirit-filled) that the Lord had already told my husband to get his house in order, -he was going home.
In May of 1993 my husband went home to be with the Lord.
In November of 1993 the Lord sent me to the local Ford dealership and He showed me a brand new four door crew cab dually 1-ton truck and told me to buy the truck and to have them put a fifth wheel hitch in it. As far as I knew (a disabled widow who now has three children -2 of which are handicapped) I did not need such a vehicle. After all, my mother had recently given us her Toyota. I had given my car away, I had my mom's Corolla and I also had a 24 ft. motor home -what did I need with that truck! And what did I need with a 5th wheel hitch: I did not have a 5th wheel trailer nor could I drive/haul one even if I did!
But the Lord clearly directed me to buy that truck. And as much as I wanted to try to talk myself out of getting it, the Lord had even shown me that very vehicle (that color and that body style) three years before it was made: the Lord had shown it to me in a dream 3 years beforehand. In fact, when I first told my husband about the Lord showing me that truck in a dream, my husband was delighted because he thought that meant that he was going to have "every man's dream" sitting in our driveway. Little did we know that the truck I had been shown in that dream would not even be produced -in that color and body style, until three years later, after my husband had already gone home to be with the Lord!!
I went into the restroom at the Ford dealership and asked the Lord if I was really supposed to buy that truck -and not only did the Lord direct me to buy it now, He also told me to make sure I had them put a 5th wheel trailer hitch in it. When the Lord told me to have a trailer hitch put in the truck, I reminded the Lord that I did not have a 5th wheel trailer and to my knowledge, I was not going to have one, and even if I had one, I could not drive that kind of a rig!
The Lord ignored my complaints and when I asked Him how much I was supposed to pay for the truck, the Lord even told me how much to pay (The Lord said, $27,000.00)
I walked into the sales office and told them that I wanted to buy that truck. They were more than willing to sell me one but they wanted to know why a disabled woman wanted to buy a truck like that for myself, they had so many other vehicles that seemed so much better suited to my needs. I told them that the Lord had shown me that truck 3 years beforehand in a dream, and they said "Who?" (remember this was in Los Angeles!) And so I said, "the LORD, -you have heard of Him haven't you?" And they stammered out a "yes, we've hear of Him buuuttttt..." Then I asked them if they could put a 5th wheel hitch in that kind of truck "as an option" -and they said yes, and asked me if I had a 5th wheel trailer. I told them "No" And so they smiled and asked me if I planned on buying a 5th wheel trailer? and I said, "not that I know of, yet" It was obvious that they now thought I was some kind of a nut and I felt like one :-)
But they were businessmen and they'd just as soon sell a truck to a nut as anyone claiming to be sane (LOL) sooooo they began to start scribbling on their paperwork, listing options & costs. And while they were doing that (realizing I did not have a trailer) I asked if I could put the 5th wheel hitch in "later" as an option, and they said, of course you can.
After about an hour in the sales office, they came up with a figure of around $35,000.00 for the truck. But they looked at me in total disbelief when I told them that the Lord said that I was to buy the truck for $27,000.00 They sarcastically asked me "when did the LORD tell you that?" and I told them that when I first saw the truck -knowing it was the truck the Lord had shown me, that I went into the restroom at the sales office and in the restroom I asked the Lord if I was to buy it and how much I was to pay for it, and the Lord said, "$27,000.00"
By this time I already had three sales people in that little sales office with me, and the guy that seemed to be in charge said to me: "do you want to go back in there and ask the Lord again, cause we cannot sell you THAT truck with THOSE options for $27,000.00" To which, I picked up my keys to leave. And they said, "hey, wait a minute -where are you going?" And I answered: "If you do not sell me THAT truck with THOSE options for $27,000.00 -then it's not God and I don't need it." But they said, "you don't understand, you are suppose to make a counter offer."
So I sat down and said, "Ok, I'll give you $26,000.00 for that truck with those options." Now thoroughly flabberghasted they replied: "Nooooo!, you're not supposed to do that, you're not doing this right!" I replied, "No, I think I am doing this right: the Lord said I am to buy that truck with those options for $27,000.00 And so if the Lord had not shown me that vehicle three years ago, I would not be giving you the time of day. So, here's the deal: if you do not sell me that truck with those options for what the Lord told me to pay, then it's not the Lord and I don't need that truck. Because that is what the Lord told me I was to pay for it, if you guys want to sit here and dicker about a price, then I have to start "under" what the Lord said, and work my way up to what the LORD told me to pay of it! So, -like it or not guys, that's my counter offer: $26, 000.00 -and we can all sit here for an hour or so and you can play around with the figures on your little sheet, or you can cut through all that and save us all a lot of time and just sell the truck for $27, 000.00 like the Lord said."
At this point the manager was fit to be tied, and his head salesman said to me: how are you going to pay for this truck, what kind of financing ...and I told him: "I am not going to finance it." So he replied sarcastically, "well then how DO you expect to pay for this vehicle" (meaning did "the Lord" tell you that too!) And I said, "I am not financing it, the Lord told me to pay "cash".
The man's jaw dropped open and he said, "you mean to tell me that YOU can pay $27,000.00 cash for this vehicle?" and I said, yes -out of my husband's life insurance money. I am a widow -and my husband's life insurance money is all the money I have and I am not looking to waste it, so if you do not sell me this vehicle right now with those options for what the Lord told me to pay, then -like I've already told you, it's not the Lord or it's not His timing, and I don't need this truck...and I'm out of here..."
Well, they even called the owner and discussed it with him -or so they said. But they came back into the room where I was and told me that the owner said that even if I paid cash, there was no way that he could not sell me that truck for that price. For some time, they insisted that they could come down that much on the price of that truck. Then they tried to get me to get rid of some of the options on it, and I refused.
One hour later I walked out with a sales slip for that truck with those options for $27.000.00
When I went to pick up the truck a week later, I found out they had installed the 5th wheel trailer hitch -which I had planned to have installed "later" as an option, if I ever got a 5th wheel trailer. Because I use a wheel chair for distances, I had planned to put wheel chair inside the back of the truck (but with that 5th wheel hitch in there, the electric wheel chair would not fit) but when I called the dealer to try to get them to remove the hitch from inside the bed of the truck, -because the installed it without asking me: the Lord said, "No, I did that"
I brought the truck home and found out that it would not fit in my driveway, so I had to pull it up onto my lawn. My neighbors wanted to know why I bought such a big truck, and I could only tell them that I did not know why I needed it, but that the LORD had me buy it.
The Lord had first shown me many of these things (that would happen in my own life -including my own disability) and many end time events when He first called me (when I was only ten years old) but I did not serve the Lord until I was much older. But when you talk about the Lord dealing that directly in people's lives, some find it hard to accept.
Many of my family members, friends and neighbors soon began looking at me as though they thought that my years of being disabled (multiple congenital spinal problems) + having 2 handicapped children (2 of my 3 children have inoperable tumors in their airway) and now having lost my husband ...was all, too much for me...they began to sympathetically patronize me.
Meanwhile, the shinny new truck sat parked -part of it in my driveway and the remaining portion extended onto my front lawn. It was not long (a week or so) before the local neighborhood watch committee chairman came to visit. She informed me that I could not park the vehicle on my lawn, it was illegal and so, I would have to find some place else to put it. So I prayed and asked the Lord if He wanted me to take some of the remaining money from my husband's life insurance to take part of my front lawn to pave a larger area to park the truck. The Lord's only answer was: "you will know more in a month". To which, I said, "all right Lord, but you heard what they said, and they want to know now what I am going to do with that truck!"
One month later, while I was in my prayer closet praying about everything except us... all of a sudden the Lord interrupted the intercession to tell me that I would be "in Texas in a month's time." I said, "TEXAS?" (Why TEXAS?) And the Lord said, "Is there something wrong with Texas? " And I said, "No, Lord, -but I don't know anyone in Texas." And the Lord said, "I have a lot of My people in Texas." And I said, "That's nice Lord, but I do not know any of them." Then while I was still praying, the Lord directed me to "get a contractor for the house" and He directed me to "pack the motor home, and put fresh water in the holding tank" and "warn the neighbors that the Lord said, there is going to be an earthquake."
In Los Angeles today, telling someone that we are going to have an earthquake is not exactly news but at that time (in December of 1993) we had not had any sizeable earthquake in approximately seven years. I also asked the Lord what He meant by being "in Texas" in a month's time -and He gave me to understand that He was sending me to Texas (and that my children & I would be moving to, i.e, be "in Texas" within a month.) The I asked the Lord what kind of a "contractor" I should get for the house and the Lord said, "a licensed building contractor".
When I asked the Lord where to get this "licensed building contractor" the Lord said, "do not worry about it" and thirty minutes later, a man knocked on my front door. The man said he was a licensed building contractor and that his name was "Moses" I burst out laughing and said, "I pray and ask the Lord for a building contractor, and God sends "Moses"!
Well, I told Moses what the Lord had told me, Moses asked me: "if the Lord said He was sending you to Texas" -if you are going to be "moving to Texas" then why are you going to fix up this house? I told Moses that it did not make sense to me either, but to come in an see what home repairs or improvements the house needed. Within an hour Moses left with a tentative agreement for repairs and improvements on the house. He told me that he would be back in about a week's time and that when he came back, he would have a typed contract for me to sign -at which time he would need me to give him a non-refundable deposit of $`1200.00
The night before Moses was due to come by with the contract, I prayed and asked the Lord if He wanted me to sign it and give him the non-refundable deposit. And the Lord directed me to tell Moses that there was going to be an earthquake and that the contracted would have to be "rescinded for an act of God" When I asked the Lord what kind of an "act of God" -the Lord said, "an earthquake."
By this time, I was packing my motor home: putting bottled water and other nor-perishable supplies in the RV (recreational vehicle) -since the Lord had directed me to warn my neighbors that an earthquake was immanent, when the saw me packing my motor home, they began laughing and calling me "Noah"
Meanwhile, Moses showed up with the typed contract for me to sign and when I told Moses what the Lord said about the contract -that I could not sign it unless he agreed that it could be "rescinded for an act of God" -then Moses asked me "what kind of an act of God?" -so I said, "I told you Moses, the Lord said there is going to be an earthquake and this contract will have to be rescinded for an "act of God" which the Lord said would be "an earthquake".
All of a sudden Moses' expression changed from one of amused unbelief to one of serious contemplation as he said, "wait a minute. We are a Hebrew company and on the back of our contract it says those words: the contract can be rescinded for an act of God and it lists an earthquake first..."
My response to Moses was -"ok, then fine, as long as you understand that, I can sign the contract and give you the deposit check." I signed the contract and Moses walked away that day with the contract and the non-refundable deposit check ľand the next day was the earthquake! My house was tossed and it suffered approximately $32,000.00 damage. Moses was at my door soon after the quake, the contract was rescinded and amended to now include the earthquake damage repairs. (And while thousands of people were later scrambling around trying to find a reputable licensed building contractor, I already had one :-)
I camped in my motor home outside the front of my house -waiting for my State Farm and for FEMA to finish accessing the damages. (My neighbors were no longer laughing.) Two weeks went by and one day -while still camping outside my house, I was warming my hands over a little catalytic heater -when all of a sudden the Lord said, "where are you?" I said apologetically "lord forgive me, but You just "tossed my house" and ...what do You mean, "where am I" -Lord, where am I supposed to be?" The Lord replied, "I told you -you I was sending you to Texas and that you would be there within one month's time." I said again, apologetically (for questioning the Lord's plans) "but Lord, what about my house -what do you want me to do with it? There are repairs to be done: should I sell it or give it away or what -do YOU want me to do with it, Lord?' And the Lord asked, "does it matter?" And I replied, "No, Lord -it does not matter, whatever You want me to do."
Then I asked the Lord, "how am I supposed to get to Texas" (with my children?) And the Lord replied, "there is the truck you did not want, there is the 5th wheel hitch you said you would not need, now go buy the 5th wheel trailer -you said, you would never have, and get to Texas -I told you that you would be in Texas within a month's time: you've got two weeks."
When I asked the Lord where I was supposed to buy the 5th wheel trailer, and how a big etc the Lord said, "40 feet long with 2 slide-outs' (I knew next to nothing about 5th wheel trailers so when the Lord told me that, I thought -right, what's a slide out").
PLEASE NOTE: I DO NOT ENDORSE THE CONTENT OF ANY AD BANNERS OR POP-UP ADS