Many say they want to HEAR from the Lord, when in fact they are:

The "man with the Microphone"

I was sitting at home one afternoon watching T.V. -the Lord told me that the nurse that takes care of my handicapped child would come to ask me if she could take my daughter and her younger brother on an outing for the evening. The Lord directed me, when she asks, say Yes. The Lord also told me that my oldest daughter would come to me and ask if she could go to the youth night activities at the church -and I was to tell her "Yes" -and take her there. (And so I did.) But as I dropped her off in front of the church, I asked the Lord if I could go into the church (or home) to pray, He directed me instead, to take my truck to the gas station and fill both tanks.

After I bought the gas, the Lord directed me to head westward down the local highway, and drive toward Mineral Wells (in Texas) not far from where I live -once there, I would be given more instruction.

When I arrived in the town of Mineral Wells, I pulled the truck to the side of the road, waited and prayed. The Lord then directed me to continue in the same direction down the same highway.

The Lord had sent me to Texas from Los Angeles after my house my house was somewhat "tossed" in the Jan 1994 earthquake and so, I was still learning my way around the nearby towns and was not in a particularly adventurous mood that evening. And the Lord knew full well that I had not been that far (in that direction) outsided the city. It is a bit disconcerting to head off somewhere you don't know, in a state you just moved to -where you don't have any relatives or friends. and I did not know where I was to go and had no maps in the vehicle -since I never learned to read them well :-(

As I drove through Mineral Wells, I began to think about how foolish this seemed...then I began to worry and fret, what if I had a flat tire out here in the middle of nowhere (I had no spare tire0 and there is no traffic out this way...and where am I going ....It looks like there's nothing out here but wilderness... and I'm a disabled woman, alone and...

At that point the Lord broke into my thoughts and said: You are NOT alone... He directed me to pray as I drove (instead of worrying).

As I began to pray, the Spirit of Intercession and strong supplication came upon me.. tears flowed spontaneously like rivers of waters running down my face (I could hardly see to drive at times) ...and as I drove, and prayed and wept, the Lord once again broke through my thoughts and He asked: "Where are you?" (I was stunned, -how was I supposed to know where I was? I was out driving who knows where in the middle of only GOD knew where!) So I said: "Lord, what do You MEAN -where am I?" He said, What were you just thinking that it looks like out here? I said, It looks like WILDERNESS to me.

Then He said, "and what are you doing as you are driving ...?" and I said: "Lord, I am crying..." And then He said: "Where ?" and I said, "in the wilderness, Lord." and He asked again: "and you are doing WHAT?" -so I said with more emphasis: "I am CRYING" and He said again: "WHERE ...?" and I said, "IN THE WILDERNESS" (and then it hit me...)

I asked if if pleased Him to tell me why He had me out here (and why He said I was) "crying in "the wilderness" -and He answered with this lamentation in the Spirit: "In MY ears they cry to Me...in My ears they SAY: "Oh GOD speak to us!" "In my ears, they say: "Oh, GOD -send us the prophets...THEY SAY (TO ME): "Oh, GOD -we want to hear from YOU!". "THEY SAY" "Oh, God send us someone who has HEARD from YOU...THEY SAY we want to hear the voice of on crying in the wilderness, THEY SAY..."

Then the Lord asked me, will you go where I send you and will you speak into the ears of the leaders of my people and tell them what I have given you to speak "in My Name" (I said, by Your grace not me but Thee, not I but Christ, -Yes, Lord).

Then the Lord asked: "Will you go and speak to them In My Name...even though they will not hear (they will not hear you because they will not hear Me)?" And again I said: "Yes, Lord -by Your grace".

Then the Lord asked: "Will you go and speak to them In My Name, -even though they will not let you speak?" At this point, I asked the Lord: "Lord, are you telling me that you are sending me to speak to someone... out there somewhere and You are having me drive all the way out to who knows where AND You're telling me that you are doing so EVEN THOUGH YOU ALREADY KNOW they will NOT let me speak to them in Your Name? (and He said: "Yes.") And so, I said yes -although I really did not understand.

After another 30 minutes of driving, now well after dark, I asked if it pleased Him to give me the name of the town, and He did. It was not until some 5-7 miles later that I saw the first road sign with the name of the town He had given me. Then I asked the Lord if it was a private residence, or a building, was it one or two people, or a group. He asked: "Does that matter? (I said, no -and thanked Him for reminding me -what He desires to do for us, He desires to do as much for one as for all without respect of persons) At that point the Lord identified the building, and it was a Christian Church* *He has given me the understanding that what occurred here regarding this church is a type of the church(es) as a whole!

With fear and trembling -not of man, but in the fear of God, I walked up the steps into the building ...the service was in progress. The sermon being delivered was obviously well underway. As I stepped into through the door to walk up the isle, these words came BOOMING from the man with a microphone who was preaching -and pounded his fist violently on the pulpit, he screamed out: "Oh GOD where are the prophets....

Oh, GOD we WANT to HEAR from YOU...Oh GOD, send us someone who has HEARD from YOU...Oh, God! Send us someone with the fire of Your Word, send us someone like Elijah, where are the Elijah's, send us someone like John the Baptist...."OH GOD, (he continued) -send us SOMEONE who has heard from YOU...Oh GOD let us hear the voice of one crying in the wilderness..."

The first thought that came to my mind was "Oh, My God!" (As in Oh, God have Mercy on us!)

Please understand that I had no personal desire to be there at all, and especially not at THAT precise moment. Everyone had turned to look toward the door which had made some creaking sound when it opened (though I had done my best to slip in quietly without interrupting the service). In addition, the timing of the whole thing had lent itself to an unmistakable air of expectancy just as I had walked in.

I cannot tell you how disheartened I was at hearing that man screaming the very words I had heard on the highwar, KNOWING what the Lord had said in that lamentation of His Spirit. Though they SAY they want to hear, (many don't and those who do -only want Him to hear Him THEIR way and WILL HEAR or choose to receive only that which THEY WANT to hear)

Knowing what the Lord had said, (that they would not even let me speak in His Name) my heart sank as I watched that man hit the pulpit with his fist over and over, again and again. As he continued to scream out those words and SAY: "Oh GOD, Oh God," my heart hit the bottom of my stomach so hard I thought it was going to go through the floor...and as he yelled out yet another: "OH GOD...." I screamed out inwardly in anguish to the Lord, "Oh GOD HELP US!"

Picture what I have been shown: the church in the world arena, as if the church were an auditorium and her altars had become a stage where she is playing her part so well, she has been rehearsing it for many years -for generations she has been screaming out to God, even earnestly with tears streaming down our faces -saying Oh, God, OH God, I need a word from you --speak, Lord: your servant is listening -we say.

But are we really humbling our selves in our minds and hearts? Are we really willing to hear from Him? Not really! What we really want is for Him to bless and approve us in what we are doing "in His name"! What we say we want, and what we really are willing to hear, are two entirely different things!

We say that WE REALLY WANT TO HEAR "from God" and we say, we want to hear what ever it pleases Him to say! But in reality, we are waiting and only willing to hear what we want to hear!

And bless God, we know that what ever does not measure up to our so-called scriptural expectations of what GOD should or would say, simply deserves to be ignored and should summarily be dismissed as "not of God"!

I slipped quietly into the pew and knelt down...at that moment my flesh desperately wanted God to use someone else...I really wanted to cry those rivers of waters that I had been crying while driving there! -but this time it was out of my own fear and frustration. But tears were conspicuously absent now.

The Lord made it clear that He was Sovereignly preventing me from crying. Man's tears, in the face of man's hindrance to and disobedience to His Spirit, do not moved Him and He will not accept those kinds of tears "in exchange for obedience". (I repented.)

Now some men would probably say: If I had to wrestle with my thoughts and struggle with my feelings, -then some men say that it was not really "a word from God." But that is how man reasons, -and as a man thinketh in his own heart (prideful) so is he (proud). And some men say this and some men think that... but in all the reasoning and gainsaying according to the perception of men, do we stop and consider the wisdom of simply "asking God"?

I wrestled for several minutes with whether I should interrupt the minister, or would that be stepping "out of order" ? Should I disrupt their service by going forward and asking permission to speak? (knowing already by the Spirit that I not going to be given permission of man to do so) -or should I just boldly walk forward and demand to be heard...then, I quit wrestling with it in my mind and asked the Lord, "what would you have me to do?" Just then, the man with the microphone screamed out: "Has the time now come when there will be only silence, will the voice of the Lord be silent in our sanctuaries?"

Within that few minutes time, I had struggled with myself, then with man's order of service, not knowing how this was to be done rightly and in order --and if that wasn't enough, now came more obstacles (according to the TRADITIONS and DOCTRINES "of men").

What obstacles? I was a woman, sent to a church that apparantly did NOT believe in women preaching or teaching. And to top it off, I had not planned on being there that night, was not dressed for church and I knew I would be judged at least in part by outward appearances. So I prayed, O Lord -let them look past me!

I had left the house that evening dressed in what I was wearing while I was watching T.V. at home alone (in slacks) and now I felt somewhat conspicuous since I was the only woman wearing pants in a church where it was quite obvious that WOMEN were expected to wear dresses.

As these and so many other things began to flood into my mind, just then the man SCREAMED out again: "OH GOD! we need to hear from YOU ...LORD, let us hear from You."

The man continued speaking, while I waited hoping for a RHEMA directive from God saying, GO NOW! I looked at the man preaching (because it looked like he was going to close his sermon...) and while I waited, -in my thoughts I set this before the Lord:

Lord, "if You could pick a vessel that would be the LEAST likely to be received as acceptable in their sight, I do not think you could have done much better! I cannot understand why You would send a woman, much less a DISABLED woman (dressed like this) who walks in here LATE with a crutch; and You want me to go up there and do what, Lord? Help me, HOW? and What do I say? The Lord said: "Go, tell them the LORD has sent you, and ask if you may speak to them In My Name..."

Just about then, the man with the microphone (who had been leaning low and heavily upon the pulpit) looked up and said: "Has the time now come when we will not hear (God) because of our itching ears...has the time now come when the churches will NOT endure (receive) sound doctrine? Then he looked out over the congregation and solemnly said: "and WILL there be ONLY SILENCE of His voice in the sanctuary?"

With THAT it no longer mattered to me whether or not it would be considered out of place or out of order, -I grabbed my crutch and walked up and stood right in front of the man in the pulpit, facing him. He looked down at me as though it wasn't the time for the altar call. Then it seemed as though he wanted to continue preaching, but now everyone was staring at me, and at him. With a look of hesitation, he finally said: "the altars are now open..." and he stepped down to where I was standing.

I was immediately surrounded by ushers. As the minister leaned forward towards me, I asked the Lord -what do I do? And He said: "there is his ear, speak into it and say: the Lord has sent you ...and, ask if you may speak to them In My Name." And I did so, -and the man stepped back, and looked shocked -then he leaned forward again and said: "What did you say?" And I repeated it, politely to him --verbatim, just as the Lord had said. Then I waited (and prayed quietly).

The man stepped back -he looked at me -kinda up one side and down the other -from head to toe (I prayed, Lord don't let him discard the letter because of the envelope...) the man stared down at his feet as he considered what he would do...but he never once looked me in the eye and seemed to carefully avoid doing so. (I prayed for him again, saying Lord -please, I think he is afraid -please help him...) as the man stared down for a few seconds at his shoes, he shuffled and shifted his feet.

In less than a minute, he called for some women ushers and announced out loud: "I'm going to pray for you." I asked the Lord what to do now and He said: "he has made his choice." Then I asked the Lord, what about all these people Lord, -what about what You gave me to speak was for all of them to hear as well... He said, "yes" ...it is for them, for all, "to hear". As that pastor stood praying for me, one of the woman (usher?) leaned over and whispered into my ear and she said: "It's ok to cry honey, if you feel like crying, go ahead - it's ok to cry..she said." And with that, by His Spirit, -the Spirit of the Lord caused me to turn my face towards her, and out of my mouth came these words: "weep for yourselves and for your children... for this man has made his choice ..." When the minister had finished his "praying for me" I returned to my seat in the pew. Then after several minutes, the Holy Spirit directed me to get up and leave.

By the Spirit of the Lord, I was given to understand that this man, -represents the choice of all of those in leadership (and those among His people) who have refused to hear *or will only hear what they want to hear. This man is representative of all those who have not and will not allow His servants to speak what they have been sent to speak in His Name!

Make no mistake about what KIND of church you think this was. Regardless of denomination, this was your church as much as it was theirs. Don't assume because "your church is on fire" and has manifestations and gifts of the Spirit that it means you, your ministry or church is exempt; they too had the operation of the gifts of the Spirit, and they spoke in tongues & they prophesied in His Name. And in His Name have cast out demons and done many wonderful things... they follow along in their Bibles, but are walking in the understanding of their teachers. I was given to understand that this incident was representative of all the churches; and He is calling all to repent of this. The Holy Spirit is calling but ...a bruised reed He will not bend and a smoking flax He will not quench ...as His Spirit walks amidst the churches in these last of the last days, how many will hear?

In a dream one time the Lord showed me (about ten years ago) an "auditorium church" with elders and men of renown with considerable degrees to their credit, sitting in the front row seats. There were performers on the stage -dancing like ballerinas twirling and passing a baton between them (but these were dancing to their own music, not in tune or in step with HIS Spirit)

And all the leadership was enjoying this well-rehearsed performance and they commented frequently one to another, approving one another among themselves...

The stage is set (etched in the stony hearts of men) and the play goes on, as His people continue to act, -performing in their well-rehearsed play, -the theatrics of calling upon Him, saying they want to hear but still rejecting His counsel, in favor of their own understanding, steadfastly refusing the correction by His Spirit, in favor of their own prophets, teachers and their own programs, deceiving themselves... how dark is THAT darkness?

When that minister had finished praying for me, I returned quietly to the pew. A bit later, when led of the Lord to do so, I got up and walked out. As I was leaving the main sanctuary, in my heart asking the Lord about all the things He had sent me to speak "in His Name" about the apostasy of the churches, knowing what He said about men refusing to hear ...at that point by His Spirit, the Lord said: "Behold, I stand as the door and knock..."

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A lot of people say they are hungry for God...but seek His hands and not His Face. Many came for the loaves and fishes, like many use "the word" to fill their bellies/satisfy their lusts.

A lot of people say they want the Lord to restore us, a lot of people say they truly want correction, re-direction and counsel from the Lord, -and they say, even insist that they want to hear Him no matter what He wants to say (as long as it's Him).

Yet the first thing that invariably happens when He does speak is that in their own understanding men reject His correction and they say, "that's not God". In reality we do NOT submit (His word, and what is spoken in His name) back to Him to ask Him to show us what HE MEANS.

INSTEAD we inquire of our idol: we consult our own mind, our own will and our own feelings, consistently allowing our soul to usurp the authority of the Spirit and to supplant the counsel of God by His Spirit! And we stubbornly supplant "spiritual discernment" with our idolatry (stubbornnes of mind) as we continue to weigh and measure according to what we want to see...

WE constantly use what we THINK we KNOW is or is not so, and we judge according to man's own knowledge and understanding of the written word...and then, sadly -more often than not, GOD (and what HE IS SAYING) -in our estimation, simply does not measure up favorably with what we think He should have said &/or we toss it out because we think it could not possibly be what HE "REALLY MEANT".

By our knowledge of the written word & all of our vast wisdom -like the pharisees who knew-that-they-knew-that-they-knew, without ever really asking Him, we dig in our heels and stubbornly SAY: We KNOW "that's not God" &/or try to shirk it off by saying, -we'll pray for you, you obviously need God to help you with that gift...blah, blah, blah ad nauseam...How many are that "man with the microphone"? (Read the Open Letter to the Churches And "Most Desolate House" (urls are all case sensitive)

p.s. The following is a word concerning anyone who has heard Paul Crouch on t.v. talk about a vision Paul has related, which he said was given by the Lord: in my recollection of how Paul describes it: in the vision, Paul describes a fierce storm that he says clearly was threatening to destroy Trinity Broadcasting Network. Paul said the storm (I believe Paul described the storm much like a tornado-like storm cloud came at them with or formed in "the face of a man". The face of a man he said came like a storm in fury to destroy Trinity Broadcasting Network.

That face of man is the face "of a man" is the doctrines of men, the understanding & counsel of the minds "of man" as opposed to the "Face" of Jesus Christ, the counsel and understanding of the word of God by the Spirit of God in the Face of Jesus Christ!

The face of "that man" is the face of man: the wisdom of man, the carnal-minded reasoning and logic of men concerning man's own understanding of the written word of God which is in opposition to the word of God His Spirit.

The face of man -represents the ungodly counsel and understanding of man's own mind at TBN and in the churches. It is man doing God's will -man's own way, -according to what man thinks and feels is right according to man's own knowledge, his own understanding, and his own perception of the word of God, it is the deceptively twisted insight of many learned men who are following men in what man perceives is right, the counsel of men who perceive themselves to be wise in their knowledge and "scriptural" insights, the supposedly good counsel of seemingly "Godly men" and "Godly women" -who preach and teach the people of God with the sanction of men, spreading man-made doctrines -and the "order of man".

Thus saith the Lord, Paul: "thou art the man" -not just Paul Crouch or the pastor of that church, but all the counsel which is of men versus that which is "of Jesus Christ" and Him alone!

Leaving our First Love means departing from Him as the Fountain of Living Waters, it means departing from the counsel of God by His Spirit in favor of the counsel of men even in the very ways in which we have been taught to discern things according to our knowledge of the word, without inquiring of (submitting our understanding to) Him who is the Living Word! And so the FACE "of man" is used as a device of the enemy to oppose correction, destroying ministries from within through the carnal-minded deceptive counsel of it's own leadership, through the counsel of men (walking according to their own mind, their own will & feelings about what is right) which Satan uses to his advantage to supplant & destroy "the ministry of the Spirit of God" even from our pulpits through "that man" with the microphone.

Having the FACE "OF MAN" represents the eyes of man's understanding, it speaks concerning the ungodly counsel of man; it speaks concerning the seemingly godly but nevertheless ungdoly will of man who is only willing to hear &/or do the Will of God, MAN'S WAY!

As "one man" -he is every man who will not HEAR God because of what he already thinks-he-knows-that-he-knows concerning what he has heard from God, and so he refuses to see or to hear anything contrary to his idol: what he thinks he knows in the stubbornness of his own mind (his idolatry of mind).

He is the man who will not receive correction and has stubbornly hardened his heart against whatever he himself cannot perceive to be "of God". It is the furthest thing from his mind that he is apostate in his religious beliefs especially when correction flies in the FACE of or contradicts that which man thinks-he-knows. Based primarily upon what man thinks he-knows-that-he-knows, he hardens his heart: he closes his ears and refuses to hear because he already is so sure of what he has already heard, has what he needs and thinks he readily receives "of God".

The point is we (all mankind) must humble ourselves, -not just our emotions or feelings, we must humble more than our will (most of us in Christian ministry want more than anything to do the will of God, but) we need to humble OUR MINDS -as well as our hearts, we need to humble our whole "selves" in His sight! Behold, He is standing at the door of the CHURCHES (including TBN) -will you yet refuse to hear? will you yet reject His counsel and His understanding in favor of what is right in your sight. Our own understanding of what God has said (and is saying) is NOT God's Understanding. As high as the heavens are above the earth so are His Ways and His Thoughts above ours. And so it is with God's Counsel versus the counsel of the mind of man; so it is with Understanding by His Spirit as compared to our own understanding of what we -who are still mortal, think we know.

How truly God's word says of all men: "if any man thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know"... in and of itself that is cause and reason enough for us all to REPENT and resubmit our minds & hearts to the knowledge of God revealed in the FACE of Jesus Christ. It is time for us to stop playing the part of Pilate by judging the Truth of God with the eyes of man -and it is time to re-submit ourselves en masse to Him who is the Judge, to Him who is the Discerner of all things and THAT by HIS Spirit concerning "What is Truth".

Instead of judging the counsel of God by the counsel of our own minds, should we not respond to every thing that challenges what we think we know by submitting to Him who alone is Perfect in counsel, to ask of Him? How many people run to God's word to confirm their own minds, their pet beliefs and/or feelings and when they find scriptures to fit, then they call THAT the counsel of God. How often the Lord gives a portion of scripture by His Spirit, and we don't even think to ASK HIM what HE MEANS and so by our traditions, our teachings, doctrines and commandments of men, WE make void His word... How often by that same means have we ourselves become the judge of what God is or is not speaking?

What ever happened to humility of heart AND of mind? Is it so hard to say: Lord, even though I do not think this is You, if it is Lord, would you please grant me repentance of heart, mind and meekness of spirit to agree with YOU in what ever YOU may be saying in this!

Pride says I know, I know! But humility says: I know that I know nothing yet as I ought to know & so I will ever inquire of Him! Are we to submit oursleves unto God only in our own knowledge, insight and understanding of what we-think-we-know-that-we-know? No! -that kind of logic and reasoning led the pharisees to say of Jesus -we know thou has a devil! We are to submit ourselves in our thinking, our will & feelings unto God, looking to HIM for His Counsel & His Understanding, -not by might of our own will, nor by power of our own perception but by My Spirit, saith the Lord.

By the Counsel and grace of God, we must resist the devil and all his devices to destroy the ministration of the Spirit. We must repent of pride in what we think we know & resist Satan's manipulation of man's mind through supposedly scriptural reasoning and logic of men. Through Christ, we must choose to resist doing God's will OUR OWN way and by His Spirit resist the enemy who misleads men even through so-called anointed feelings, and supposedly gifted spiritual perception, in man's own biased interpretation and understanding of God's word and His will. Resist Satan, -and he will flee!

Go to GOD, not just to His word to find the answers you want to hear, lest the enemy take advantage of man's own perception & thereby mislead you in your own understanding of the word. Go afresh, go deliberately in mind and heart to Him who is the Living Word, ask Him for right Understanding by the Counsel of His Spirit and ask Him to take you to His word and confirm those things!

This is what it means to submit ourselves to Him asking Him to give us the Counsel and Understanding of His Spirit -instead of falling into the trap of going to His word, having Him give us a word by His Spirit -only to have the enemy come in immediately and turn, twist and wrest the meaning or application of that word through his manipulation of our powers of reason & logic in man's perception and understanding. Repent of seeking and/or preferring the FACE "of man" instead of "the counsel of God" in the FACE of Jesus Christ!

We are being called to REPENT of all of our sophistry and of putting on airs, even airs of knowledge in our own conceits, of man's vain reasoning and human logic concerning that which man perceives is or is not "of God" according to man's perception and knowledge of the written word. We are called IN HIM and BY HIM to submit ourselves "in Spirit AND in Truth" TO HIM -to do THESE things which we have not done as we ought! (Say: Lord, grant me repentance!)

We need to stop denying that we (as a people) have forsaken Him and His counsel by His Spirit for our the broken cisterns of men and stop denying that as people of God, we have not done "the one thing that is needful" -to humble ourselves in one body (His) in one mind (His) in one Spirit (His) with all of our hearts, with all of our minds to humble ourselves in all of our strength in the Light of Who He is --to sit at His Feet, silent in His sight, ...and listen.

In Christ, Mary Weiland (AKA: NotEye)